On Grief and Loss — Thoughts from a Grieving Therapist

Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, and yet it can feel profoundly isolating. When we lose someone or something we love — a person, a relationship, a version of ourselves — the world keeps moving while we feel completely still.

As a therapist, I've sat with many people in their grief. And as a human, I've sat in it myself. What I've learned, both professionally and personally, is that grief doesn't follow the neat stages we've been taught. It's not linear. It doesn't have an endpoint. And it doesn't always look like crying.

What Grief Actually Looks Like

Sometimes grief looks like numbness. Like going through the motions of your day while feeling completely disconnected from your own life. Sometimes it looks like irritability — snapping at people you love because there's nowhere to put all of this feeling. Sometimes it looks like relief, which can come with its own complicated guilt.

Grief can also look like physical symptoms. Fatigue. Heaviness in the chest. A literal ache. This is because grief lives in the body, not just the mind. Your nervous system has registered a loss, and it responds accordingly.

What I Want You to Know

You are not grieving wrong. Whatever you are experiencing — the numbness, the anger, the moments of forgetting and then remembering — that is your grief, and it belongs to you. There is no timeline you are failing to meet.

Grief doesn't need to be fixed or rushed. It needs to be witnessed. It needs space. And sometimes, it needs a person who can sit with you in it without trying to make it better.

If you are navigating grief and feeling like you need support, therapy can be that space. You don't have to carry this alone.